Yesterday was hard for me, I won't lie and say it wasn't.
Why, you ask? When a person chooses to undertake the preservation of one of the darkest chapters of human history it can be overwhelming to the point of devastation. Yesterday I said little with the exception of talking in class or to my suite mates because I wanted the day to be completely about reflection and that is what I got. I got a day to converse with myself and dig deeper into why I might have been chosen to keep this message alive.
I streamed the ceremonies at Auschwitz live on the website so I got a chance to watch history. I got the chance to see what might be the last "milestone" anniversary of liberation that survivors en masse will make it to. As I watched, there were things that moved me to tears. Survivor Roman Kent said in his speech, "If I could make an eleventh commandment it would be that no one is allowed to be a bystander." This is the crux of Never Again in my mind. Especially with the anti-Semetic and other attacks rooted in prejudice that have been going on recently this statement is a cry to the world. It's 2015, so why does it look almost like 1933? We cannot let this go on.
When you go as deeply into the Holocaust as I have, many wonder if you can come out. The truth is that you can't. Things resonate and stay with you, you cry for people you did not know, and you gain a new perspective on what hate can do. It's harrowing and it can sometimes drown you completely. I've found that a lot of the times I have to take a step away from it to reconnect with life around me. As a historian, my mind dwells a lot in the past and I'm thankful that I can come back to the present when the past is too much.
Last night as a long and hard day closed with me lying in bed. I said kaddish, a Jewish prayer for the dead that I Googled. After, I made a pact with myself. If I can, I will go to another Auschwitz milestone in the future on behalf of the diminishing survivors and I will lead the campaign for my generation and generations after to not forget.
The support of all of you is wonderful, but one comment really stuck with me. My friend Sam thanked me for my work in this field. I had never been thanked so genuinely for doing something I'm passionate about and that comment made my day as did the countless other messages of support.
Thank you.
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