Would I Rather Be Able Bodied?

I am 19 and I am disabled.

Of course I never use that as an excuse for anything but I've been seeing a lot of parents of special needs kids in the group I volunteer for called CHASA repost things from blog sites about having a disabled child so I'm going to weigh in here. Not all the posts I've seen are like this but it seems to me a lot of the authors of the blogs write in a way that attracts pity, whether they want it or not. I think this has got to stop.

If you have a child who was born different from others, a lot of these moms who write blogs say they can't stop comparing their kids to able bodied kids. I'm not a mom so maybe I don't quite fully understand where they're coming from, but as a disabled teenage girl comparing myself to others my age is just stupid. Why would I wish I looked like the cheerleader? Why would I wish I was into One Direction rather than studying the Holocaust? As a teen girl that sounds crazy so why are parents of young children born differently comparing their kids to others and not enjoying their unique kid?

A lot of people who don't understand what it's like to be disabled also are quite unaware of the set of etiquette rules for interacting with disabled people. Over the years I have gotten everything from people's pity to blunt and forward questions about why I walk the way I do and if I'm in chronic pain. To the first type of question I usually tell people that it isn't their place to ask if that's the first thing they can think of when they approach me. To the latter, it kind of shocks me. No I'm not in chronic pain at all but it makes me wonder if it looks that way to others.

A lot of disabled people don't want pity from others. Yes, we had something that we really couldn't do anything about happen to make us this way and no, some of us don't feel bad for ourselves so neither should you. Some of us don't sit around comparing ourselves to our peers, instead we get involved in any aspect of life that we can. We actually appreciate little things more than anyone else. And that's something I'm proud of.